Pieces of the Puzzle

Here I am sitting in my office, enjoying the peace and quiet.

This is a rare moment for me, cause something's always happening. Either I'm getting a call about some supervillian, or I'm getting a call about my daughter from the Director of the Daycare (oh, joy!), or I'm getting a call from my villanous ex-husband (which luckily are collect so I can always use the excuse that I can't afford the call and hang up, which isn't far from truth)
Not too many people at this company have offices, but I raised so much hell about needing quiet for all the analysis and reporting work that I have to do that they finally gave in. So what was the very first thing I did when I moved in here? Did I hang up paintings, or place little pictures of my daughter all over the place? Nope.

I locked the door and took a ten minute nap.

Most people leave me alone to work my statistical magic, but this morning, Daisy decides to make a quick drive by, (she literally ran in and out of my office in two seconds flat) placing a two inch stack of papers in my tray. Now, since our last incident, she makes it a point to avoid me. I'm surprised she even came to work today. Sighing, I reached over to grab the stack and see what it was. What in the world could HR need me to do now? The only good thing about their whole department is that they almost never have to bother me.

Curious, I flipped through the stack. Health Insurance open season.

Considering I'm not human in the first place, the last thing I need is some quack trying to figure out why I have four left ventricles. The same with Kara. She's at least half human, but I still don't want to go there. I grabbed a pen and immediately started opting out of everything when I happened to run into a piece of paper in the stack that I don't think I was meant to see.

In my hot little hands, I happen to have a copy of an advanced internet background check. Now, I'm not talking about one of the ones that gives you two or three people and you have to guess who the one you want is, I mean one that tracks down everything you've done since birth. I scanned down the page a little more and realized that this one had been run recently on Karl, the new guy. And it looked like he had been paying for his little bondage sessions by credit card. American Express to be exact. Hmm, I hope his wife's not the one who pays the bills.

I'm sitting here and thinking that I really should call somebody to let them know their mistake, but then I figured, "nah". They'd notice it was missing eventually. So I kept looking to see if I could find out who had requested the report, and I came across some things that left me absolutely amazed. (Four hundred dollars for leather diaper? This boy had some serious issues! And this was the company posterchild?)

I know our HR department didn't pull it the report, because if that was the case, I'd have never gotten a job. I mean let's face it, I put a whole new meaning to the term illegal alien.

I was almost at the end of the report before I realized who bought it. As I stared at the name on the paper a lot of questions were finally answered.

I immediately picked up the phone to call Leroy. So what it was 7:30 and he didn't usually get up till 8:30? I was pretty sure that he'd be wide awake when I told him that I'd found out how Ron in Procurement was getting his information. He was in cahoots with somebody Leroy and I had been after for a long time.

Hackin' Harry.